Guardian

Diabetes - it not only destroys your beta cells, it steals your sleep, too.  Last night it was a trip to the bathroom that made me curse it silently and crawl out of bed for a blood sugar check (late night bathroom trips are always an indication of a high blood sugar).

These midnight potty trips always make me think of the first Austin Powers movie where, after being frozen for 30 years, Austin is put in front of a urinal.  And he pees.  And pees.  And pees...  Well, you get the picture (if not, click here).  As I waited for Chase, I giggled thinking about the movie and it made me wonder what has been good about this disease other than pee jokes?

First of all, it makes you take nothing for granted - especially our health.  Thanks to the education we have been given in the human body over the last 7 years, I can safely say, it has made us healthier.  As a example, one day I brought a Marie Calendar's pot pie to work for lunch (yum, I know!).  Being a diabetes mom, I wondered how many carbs where in that baby's flaky crust.  Taking from my education in checking nutritional labels, I was surprised it was only 54 carbs.  Then I checked out the serving size - 2.  Holy moly!  108 carbs.  And over 1,000 calories.  I haven't touched one since.

Diabetes makes us stubborn.  It doesn't stop us from traveling, eating (except pot pies), or dancing like crazy to whatever is the favorite song of the month in our house.  We pretty much tell it, "You can't stop us from living.  We will show you."

Diabetes makes us friends.  We have been blessed to share this journey with some other amazing type 1 families. If it wasn't for diabetes we wouldn't know them, and for that I am thankful for type 1.  They are wonderful moms and dads just as crazy and neurotic about their children as we are about ours.  Best of all, their eyes don't glaze over when I talk about insulin pumps, carb ratios, sensitivity factors and ketones.

Diabetes makes us trust.  It's one thing to put your child in some one's care, but it's another ball game when they are diabetic.  We've come a long way in the trust department.  We've even worked up to sleepovers.  It hasn't been easy, but we've learned to give up control and learned to trust. 

Because of all of the above, we feel.  A year ago, while driving to work, this song came on the radio: Guardian by Alanis Morissette.  It spoke to me like no other song ever has.  After it ended I looked liked Alice Cooper with my "water proof" mascara running down my cheeks.   It was a song about Chase and me.  It made me sad, but it gave me, for the first time since diagnosis day, a reason.  I am not only his mom, I'm his guardian - his label reading, stubborn, trusting guardian with a great support group in her corner. 




Guardian
by Alanis Morissette

You, you who has smiled when you're in pain
You who has soldiered through the profane
They were distracted and shut down

So why, why would you talk to me at all
Such words were dishonorable and in vain
Their promise as solid as a fog

And where was your watchman then

I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I'll be your warrior of care your first warden
I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

You, you in the chaos feigning sane
You who has pushed beyond what's humane
Them as the ghostly tumbleweed

And where was your watchman then

I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I'll be your warrior of care your first warden
I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

Now no more smiling mid crestfall
No more managing unmanageables
No more holding still in the hailstorm

Now enter your watchwoman

I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I'll be your warrior of care your first warden
I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian